I’m not a parent. I’ve helped raise my niece from infancy to four years of age, but I’m not yet a mother. (I know there’s really no comparison, but I feel the need to give myself a tiny bit of credit before I go off on this particular tangent.)
Now, I know non-parents have this habit of saying, “I’ll never do that when I’m a parent” in regards to any number of specific principles to which they may object, but I swear there is one that I will honor, so help me Bill Murray. See, I’m absolutely sure that I will make a great many sacrifices for my future child, but I’m also certain of something else: The word “fuck” will not be one of those sacrifices.
No. Fucking. Way.
I’ll be damned if I’m giving up “fuck” for anyone. It’s a great word. And by word, I mean words (because there are so many wonderful variations of it). Now, some of you may be thinking, What a trashy piece of shit mother you’re going to make, and that’s okay. You’re entitled to your judgmental fucking opinion and I kind of even fucking respect you for it. But hear me the fuck out for a second. Continue reading “Exposing Your Child to a Healthy Dose of Profanity”